How I Learned to Eat Cake Without Fear — A Food Freedom Story
How I Learned to Eat Cake Without Fear — A Food Freedom Story
What a gift to eat cake without fear.
I remember believing I would go to my grave never eating another piece of chocolate or dessert. I had surrendered to the fact that eating dessert was too painful. I would lament, obsess, and ultimately fall apart when I ate cake. So I stopped completely. It was the right choice for myself at the time because eating sweets was stealing my joy. Like an alcoholic who gives up alcohol, I found freedom without sugar.
After many years, eight to be exact, I realized I had no trust in myself that I could heal my relationship with food. I felt flawed. Without faith, I declared I would fall into the depths of despair with even one bite of cake.
During my years of healing I found that my suffering had little to do with food. It rarely does. It was deeper.
Food was my escape. The problem was never the food. It was a fear of feeling. Any time I had an uncomfortable emotion I would turn to food. In my attempt to keep a smile on my face I stuffed my feelings down along with it.
I was afraid to be me. Raw, real, uncensored. I didn't even know what that meant. But I knew that if I obsessed about my body I wouldn't have to face myself. Would I be accepted? Would I be loved? Would I be abandoned for being me? These were the subconscious thoughts that kept me suffering for years.
My commitment to healing brought me to my knees. Moment by moment I became present to my emotions. To my surprise it wasn't too bad. I even reclaimed my pleasure.
I found that being me meant being confident, goofy, defensive at times, sincere, messy, and loving. Healing my relationship with food taught me that it is safe to be me. Life is a continuous journey of self-acceptance.
Fast forward and I eat cake with pleasure and joy. I love baking cakes, pies, and desserts. Do I overindulge at times? Yes. Do I obsess or feel like a failure afterward? Absolutely not.
Finding peace and freedom with food is not easy but it is completely doable. And it starts with understanding what's really underneath the pattern.
If you've ever wondered why food still has this kind of power over you, why knowing better never seems to make it easier, I made something for you.
